Hi bitches!

It's the time of the year again where Halloween comes and yet I haven't decided what to wear nor what to be! Supposedly I'm planned to go to Sandy Eggo aka San Diego and party it up down there.. Not to sure if my chances have narrowed with my mother but I'm determined to go. =) School has been a drag lately I feel as if it's pointless maybe because I have hardly any classes but ehh gonna pull through. Somewhat a waste of $151 =_=. OH! Also, I've learned to put myself on a pedestal which is above boys/men whatever the hell they're called 'cause honestly I'm glad to no longer be in a relationship with M. It was a good run and the ups and downs that we faced together was good learning experience. It takes awhile for this to all soak in about how I'm not in a relationship because it's been a really long time. Lol, whatever comes my way we'll see what happens. 

Mmm, I try SO hard to not tell people my problems.Mfkas. Also, I'm trying SO hard to be patient. Lol.

kthxbai.

What a long day.

Today was pretty chill. I went to Haight with Krystal and Leilani cause True was having a sale; every shirt was pretty much $15. Super steal. Then after we had our little luncheon thing at Fuddruckers since Krys and Lei are leaving tomorrow. Then after I just went to work, which was fun 'cause all my babies were working(= Damn and we didn't get out til 11:30 -_- mad gay. Eh, that was today.

But it's been awhile since I've taken the time to blog or write something significant. So much has happened in my life that I don't know where to start. I think it began when my senior year was coming to an end. The whole breakup with Marty set off this rollercoaster hell of a ride. It was had lots of ups and downs. In and out of relationships with talking to guys and shit like that. Fights and tears with Marty was a learning experience. First, he wanted me but I didn't want him. Then I wanted him, and he didn't want me. Now we've reached an understanding that maybe we can work this out. But who knows, getting back into that whole relationship thing that we used to have is hard cause we've become immune to being "single" and doing whatever we wanna do without the boundaries. I want things to be the same but Marty was right that the breakup has done alot of damage to both of us and the relationship as a whole. I mean, I don't expect it to just fall back into place because personally Im still struggling to realize that he's there and we're "talking" which have some obligations? Unless the rules have changed. I don't really care what he does when it comes to going out because the guy is busy, he has work and school which pretty much take up his day and I know that since he's made new friends and shit like that he wants to chill with them. In the meantime, Im just gonna do have I have to do with work and school. It must mean something if he were to come back to me right? I've learned to go with the flow and prioritzing myself first because from what I was told in the end its just gonna be "me, myself & I". Relationships have always been a big deal because I guess as my mom says my "dad was never there" therefore I'm searching for a man's love. In some aspect I believe that too be true. And the man I'll marry willl have the characteristics that my dad does and when I look at Marty I see my dad ...and it's scary. My dad is a good guy, he loves kids and shit like that but he's not too responsible. Kinda makes me sad. I really miss him, but I don't know I feel like he's forgotten that he still has a daughter(s). He pretty much dropped my sister after she had Leo, which is really sad. I don't know broken families are the worse and to even realize that I don't have too many cousins as well makes shit gayer 'cause I wanna talk to family about my problems. I think the only family I do have as to where I can talk to, is Kim but she's doin her thing and Im doin mines. And damn, does time fly by so quick that I just remember going to her house and pigging out til my mom picked me up or I slept over. Haha. Good times, fa sho. All in all God's been good to me and I've just been overlooking the good he's put in front of me. Well I guess that's pretty much it.

Goodnight.

Hi,

I'm happy.

BYE.